Cancer and My Moment of Reckoning

Friday a week ago I had a CT scan (I’ll definately need to post a ministering angel story about this ) and for the first time, some tiny unclassified spots on my liver have started growing in size (3 to be exact).  I should have known when the Doctor calls me back instead of the nurse, there was trouble.  These spots were seen in the very beginning but the Doc said they were too small to identify or biopsy thus he wasn’t going to worry about them as it wouldn’t change the treatment protocol he recommended either.  Let me just say, I’ve had at least 3 prior CT scans prior to this in the last 2 years and there was never any change until now.  

So my Doc said he was very concerned as he described them to me (I can’t remember a thing about their description).  I just had to ask “so are you saying it’s cancer? or could it be something else?" His indirect respone?  "With the type of cancer you’ve had (stage 3 colorectal cancer with 3 positive lypmph nodes), we don’t want to see any changes in your liver".  Reading between the lines, I think I may be facing stage 4 liver (or more) metastisis.  

When I hung up the phone,  I’ll admit, I was a bit emotional when I told my mom and brother what he said.  But I returned home and talked to my twin sister who asked me how I was going to handle this should it be bad (knowing I was very, very emotional and pregnant the 1st go around). Next, I talked to my 12 step sponsor for food addiction (another good story I’ll have to tell later). She has been through cancer herself and is such a beautifully positive person.  She offered me the encouragement I needed.

After both these conversations, I made a conscious decision to do it differently.  My thoughts went something like this “I’ve already done this the anxious, scared, and stressed out way and it was no fun at all!  I feel pretty normal again, have a good deal of my energy back, enjoy outings with my 2 precious daughters and husband (we all pick him up for lunch once a week and enjoy a park picnic).  I’ve been gardening for therapy and have a transformed yard to boot, I get to serve in my church working with the primary children….and by Golly!  I want to keep it this way!!!

Let me just say that this one decision has become one those pivitol moments in my life; a hinge that can swing me in several different directions for better or worse. It has set a tone in my home, for my husband and children in how we are going to deal with this; taking it in stride a day at a time.  We are going to LET GO AND GIVE IT TO GOD (I’m screaming as I type this at the top of my lungs...in my head of course---and smiling) because HE is in control; Of course I will seek his inspiration and I will take action to get treatment, but ultimately HE is the great physician and He will decide if I get to stay or come home to him. And either way, it will be ok because he is mighty to save (a sick body or a wounded heart)!  Can I just say it is so freeing to just let it go!  We are going to live an abundant life and cherish the time we have no matter how short or long. It’s truly amazing how one little medical scan can change your perspective in an instant.  A family picnic on a warm June day is a truly abundant life.  Watching my 4 y/o dance or my 17 m/o sing is an abundant life.  Smiling at strangers (even when they think you are weird) is an abundant life.  I heard about this book several years before cancer was on my radar entitled “One Month to Live”.  Well, it’s still on my bookshelf collecting dust but MAN does it resonate with me…I now KNOW what he’s talking about because I’m trying to live it day by day.

So here’s my plan.   Actually it's not MY plan but God's plan but here's what I'm going to do. I will document my journey beginning today. Maybe not everyday because I've got two beautiful young children to laugh, love, and play with. Nevertheless, I have quite a tale to tell starting almost 2 years ago with me 39, pregnant, with a cancer diagnosis. And so it begins!

Arise & Shine Forth!

Leanna

2014 Primary Bulletin Boards

Just thought I'd share pics of the bulletin boards I did for our ward primary. It was lots of fun!

Here's the 2014 theme board.

I used Blockposters to create a large image of the Houston Temple.  I printed it on a glossy, pearl colored paper that I found at the local craft supply store, glued it together and then glued it to poster board (I used packaging tape on the back where I had to join 2 pieces of poster board). 

The back backdrop of the temple is some decorative, clear scrapbooking paper (6 sheets).

For the Lettering, I found a font I liked and printed it in the size I wanted then used it to cut out letters on the paper I wanted (which for this was white poster board). 

Finally, I outlined the board with white lace symbolic of a wedding dress.

Here's the January Theme Board

My goal here was to make it easy for even the youngest children to learn this month's scripture (John 3:16).  I made all the work pictures except for the white mold of Mary and Jesus which I found at the local craft store.  I also found the green paper with black dots at the craft store and a matching ribbon in the sewing  aisle.  I just happened upon the flowers on top in the clearance aisle and couldn't resist.

Every week, since it's my month to teach sharing time, I have all the children read it.  To help the little ones learn it, I read the words and then choose a child to tell me what the picture is.  I'm hopeful they might all have this verse memorized by the end of the month.

I want to be a Proverbs 31 coupon woman!

source

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her as the protector of his paycheck, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

She seeketh wool, and flax all the needs of her home from diapers to dinners, and worketh willingly with her hands clipping those coupons each week

She is like the merchants' ships the big kahuna of coupon land; tracking down the mother load of sales she bringeth her food from afar

She riseth also while it is yet night to work on her shopping list, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her coupon-less maidens.

She considereth a field (store) and buyeth it 10% at a time at rock-bottom price: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard of personal wealth through her family’s storehouse/stockpile.

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms to heave all her free copy paper onto their proper storage shelf spot

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good I mean c’mon it was FREE!: her candle goeth not out by night from last month’s battery sale

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy because couponing excess is such an easy way to give back what she’s so generously been given

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land I mean lets face it who hasn’t noticed a stockpile to outlast Armageddon

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also b/c of all the free candy she scores, and he praiseth her.

Give her of the fruit of her hands to heave and ho her 10 lb coupon binder; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Playdough Fun for All Ages

source (I didn't do these but super Cute!!)

This morning not only did I teach a room full of high schoolers (early morning seminary/religion class), I also had a house full young ones as it was my day to host pre-school.  Thus, I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone (so to speak) and made a huge batch of playdough for both:) 

Recipe:

2 cups flour
2 cups hot water
1 cup salt
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 Tablespoon cream of tartar (optional for improved elasticity)
Fragrance/color: food coloring, koolaid mix, ground cinnamon, scented oils (fyi: it will stink otherwise)

Directions:

In a pan, add water and oil and begin heating on medium heat .  In the meantime,  mix the flour, salt, and cream of tarter together in a bowl.  Add dry ingredients to pan and stir (at a low heat).  It will begin to resemble mashed potatoes. It's ready when the dough pulls away from the side and clumps together in the center of the pan.  Turn the dough out onto a clean surface, cool, then knead until it becomes silky smooth.
Note: I've read that if it is still sticky, you need to cook it longer...and I've also read that using hot water and pre-mixing wet & dry ingredients seperately before combining will prevent any problems (it worked for me:)
To Color, Divide the dough into balls, make an indentation in center, pour or drop in coloring and/or frangrance of choice and knead it until evenly distributed.

Kids Activity:

There are so many fun learning activities to do with playdough.   I got a lot of my ideas for this activity here. Here are some of the things I did with the pre-schoolers.

SKILL: fine motor dexterity and strength; hand-eye coordination, visualizing

• Pound it
• Roll it
• Squish it
• Pull it apart/tear/cut it

SKILL: sensory information such as shapes, texture, temperature, touch, size

• roll out circles, triangles, rectangles, squares
• make different shapes: flat, round, tall, short, long, curved, straight, etc
• Size (form a small, medium and large ball)
• Textures (roll into a smooth ball, make it bumpy)

SKILL: vocabulary and descriptive language, measuring, counting, pre-writing
• Alphabet: Have adult form the letters of the alphabet and let kids guess, or have kids make them
• Have child form the letters of his/her name
• Numbers: make the shapes of the numbers 1-10 and/or roll out some little balls to show how many for each
• Counting: have kids make a specified number of circles or have them count the circles you’ve already made.

This was most popular w/ the kids, they
made little balls to fill in the circles provided
(I got them here)

SKILL:  problem-solving, planning, imagining and pretending

• Simple math (addition, subtract, fractions…it’s easy to see the meaning of ¼  or  ½ when you divide a ball or disk into 4 pieces)
• Using their imagination, children create their own little masterpiece (a fine art lesson too)

For Teens (& adults):  In seminary class (a good Family Home Evening lesson too), I explained how God tries to "shape" our lives like the potter's clay (Jeremiah 18-19) if we will but let Him.  Could you just imagine the clay jumping off the potter's wheel exclaiming "I don't need you, I can do this on my own!"  In the same way, do we sometimes jump off the wheel of the Great Potter (God)? I ended by having them shape/sculpt the clay to represent something important to them.

cheers!