The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her as the protector of his paycheck, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She seeketh wool, and flax all the needs of her home from diapers to dinners, and worketh willingly with her hands clipping those coupons each week
She is like the merchants' ships the big kahuna of coupon land; tracking down the mother load of sales she bringeth her food from afar
She riseth also while it is yet night to work on her shopping list, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her coupon-less maidens.
She considereth a field (store) and buyeth it 10% at a time at rock-bottom price: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard of personal wealth through her family’s storehouse/stockpile.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms to heave all her free copy paper onto their proper storage shelf spot
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good I mean c’mon it was FREE!: her candle goeth not out by night from last month’s battery sale
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy because couponing excess is such an easy way to give back what she’s so generously been given
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land I mean lets face it who hasn’t noticed a stockpile to outlast Armageddon
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also b/c of all the free candy she scores, and he praiseth her.
Give her of the fruit of her hands to heave and ho her 10 lb coupon binder; and let her own works praise her in the gates.