In my last postI promised to tell you my angel story. To give you a little background, since my diagnosis of colorectal cancer while pregnant on November 1, 2012-- I made a regular habit to pray for the ministering of angels. Please let me explain exactly what I mean by this. I found comfort reading many near death experience (NDE) books last year when I was most ill from cancer treatment. All of these NDE survivors shared a common observation of heaven and its dealings with us which is: Angels are always in our midst--aiding and ministering to us--AND these angels are almost always our closest friends and relatives. If you think about it, this makes perfect sense. Who loves you more than your own family? Who has your best interest at heart if it isn't your own kinsfolk. Thus, who better for God to send to us when an angel is needed, right?!
Well, I indeed found this to be very true in my own case as well. I had very many instances during my treatment when I felt my deceased family members watching over me (supporting me, encouraging me, and just being present). Here are a few examples:
Grandma & Aunt Vonn
January 2013: I delivered my second child 8 weeks premature to begin cancer treatment. But I had to be admitted a week earlier because of an unexpected infection. Visitors came daily, mainly because the constant morning ritual to help me heal was a quite painful procedure, so I just needed someone to hold my hand. Nope, I'm not kidding. I had someone drive up every morning just to hold my hand for 5 minutes. One morning, my niece popped in for a visit. Although she usually maintains a very busy schedule, she stayed a while visiting and come to find out, she actually had been in a rush to get to work but felt compelled to wait for the medical staff to leave my room to inform me that she felt a very strong, almost overwhelming presence of two spirit personages in the room with us. Maybe it's because they had me pumped high on drugs, but I didn't feel a single thing so I was very glad she shared this with me. My prayer was answered! Late that same night, I lay their "chained" to my bed by my medical paraphernalia and out of nowhere, a cameo looking headshot image of Aunt Vonn & Grandma popped into my mind. The moment I asked myself if maybe it was them whose presence my niece had felt, a sensational envelope of peace swept across my whole body like a tidal wave. I instantly knew the Holy Spirit was confirming to me this was indeed true. Even in death, this loving duo were still some of my biggest fans!
"Peace I give unto, not as the world giveth, give I unto you" (John 14:26)
2013: Once while having an imaging scan in which I felt particularly claustrophobic. The nurse put a towel over my eyes to help calm me. I began to visualize myself in a big, open and field looking a beautiful tree. My hands were stretched out above my head and suddenly I felt warmth in my hands as if they were being held by someone. Almost immediately, I received a knowledge that it was Aunt Vonn there to cheer me on through it. Side Note: Aunt Vonn & Grandma lived for us kids. They were always at our sports games, musical events, you name it! Ever cheering us on. Why would this day be any different, right?!
April-May 2013: While receiving intense and excruciatingly painful radiation therapy daily for 5 weeks solid, I just had a sense that my brother, Scotty, who died at age 3 of leukemia-- he also having received radiation therapy to his sick little body--that he was just present for it; that he knew from experience what I was going through and he was just there for moral support!
June 2013: For my last pre-op procedure before my big cancer & reconstructive surgery, I sat talking with my husband while waiting on the medical staff when I interrupt him and ask "do you feel that? Someone is here with us". It's hard to describe but have you ever had a distinct feeling that someone is in the room with you? That's what it felt like. So what do I do? I yell out with a grin "whoever you are, thanks for being here!" It wasn't till the next day I knew it was my grandpa. I just had a warm tingly feeling wash over my entire body. My mom had the exact same feeling too (separately) that is was her father with me. Love ya PaPa!!!
Now that you see my history with ministering angels from these people whom I loved so dearly in life, it only makes sense that I keep I keep praying for them!
My dad died 2 months ago after being ill for decades. He too, by the way, had felt for the 2 years leading up to his death my brother, Scotty, would come and get him when his life was complete. Well, since my dad was ill himself during my cancer treatment, it just seemed fitting that he finally get a chance at being my "angel". Thus, on my 15 minute drive to the radiology lab for my first CT scan post surgery---I actually pictured dad riding along with me in the car and saying "well missy, let's get going". It was nice...relaxing. However, after I arrived I felt nothing...like I was just there...alone! But I didn't dwell on it too much because I was pre-occupied with paperwork until the nurse swooped me back.
So we're going through the standard procedures of a CT scan. My nurse, a middle aged woman whose name I can't recall, very kindly walks me through the procedure like clock work. But after she left and I was being scanned, I had a very distinct impression (which I often refer to asa God whisper) that dad wasn't supposed to be with me because God had sent me a living angel instead; my nurse.
So, I sat there reflecting...why her? I thought how she had been so warm and smiling from head to toe. Even though she did this same routine day in and day out, I could tell that I wasn't just a number or a job to complete but that she really cared. She was interested in my story and what was going on in my life. She asked me questions about my life and children while she was prepping me. She said "you're so young to be going through this; but I can tell you are strong, I can see it in your countenance". I really had nothing to say to that but the truth "well, this is the path the Lord has for me to take". She then explained that she is a believer in prayer as well. She sees many believers who don't care what their doctors say; that they will beat it because the Lord is on their side! She said one of the resident Doctors will usually respond to them with "and that's the attitude that will help you beat this!"
So how do you tell a stranger they are the ministering angel you prayed for this morning? As she walks back in after my scan, I clear my throat and said "since you mentioned you believe in prayer, I wanted you to know that on my way here, I prayed for ministering angels to be with me because I don't like to do these things alone. God answered my prayer and sent me you!"
I continued as I seea look of shock spreading across her face, "you've been so very kind, helpful, and smiling. Thank you very, very much. It means a lot to me". Her response? "You are going to make me cry!" You really have no idea how much that means for you to say that to me" explaining how she has wished over the years she could stay home with her kids instead of working. But instead of complaining, she prays that He will instead give her the opportunity to minister to the patients who come in. When I stood up she embraced me and escorted me all the way out of the office.
Wow! Isn't God a good and wonderful God?!! Answering both of our prayers at the same time! This is clearly a learning moment to follow through when God tells you to do or say something. It was truly a precious moment indeed.